Wonder if you can help me or point me in the right direction. My daughter was a volleyball player and played year round and had hoped to get a college scholarship. She was cut from her high school team and it was a big blow to her self esteem. She is involved in other activities but I don’t think she has gotten over this loss. How can I help her?

Good question. First, I wonder what leads you to the opinion of the change in self-esteem. By that observation, do you mean she seems less happy or productive or ? Most parents believe that having high self-esteem is an important goal. Self-esteem in this sense means something like feeling good about oneself in global terms. Research on this construct shows that it is a weak and not very worthwhile construct. For example, criminals and school yard bullies typically have high self-esteem. A global sense of self-worth just doesn't help people live better lives. What matters more are positive moods, productivity, and health. If your daughter seems as happy and productive as ever, then she's on her way. So, if she's not as happy or productive, that's another issue - and suggests she could use a consultation with a scientifically based therapist, someone like me who specializes in cognitive-behavior therapy. Dan